A: Because Moby was being a d*ck. Get the best daily dad jokes in your inbox. A web site is what you call the corner of your attic. I kept the knife just in case I ever want to give it back. May you keep shining that special light within your heart that illuminated my world when we were together. Gap Teeth Jokes. If you think about it this way, you’re only 21 years and 3,285 days old. Happy birthday, and may this year be so successful that the IRS freezes your bank account. Here are 21 dollars in one-dollar bills, so that the supermarket clerk thinks you’re a stripper when you count it out! My mom’s favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18-year-old waitress who is just there to get our drink order. So if you where born on the 10th of the month, your 10th birthday would be your golden birthday. I can’t believe your 50! Anyways, Happy Birthday. We guarantee that they're almost as sweet as the birthday cake you're about to devour. You are so far away, which is quite sad to say, I’d say I can’t believe that you’re not here, but I can – that stench follows you everywhere. Too many birthdays will kill you, however enjoy this one, my dear! The owner of this website is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. I hope you enjoy your new knee replacement, hip replacement, and eye surgery! Turning 40 is a doozy. May our friendship have no end just like a circle has no end. Other ways to use these jokes is to include as part of the birthday invitation wording, or print and frame one of the one-liners and use as a part of the party decor. During your birthday party people are lovingly comparing you to a dusty bottle of wine. They’re beginning college, can officially buy cigarettes, and go to clubs – yet their parents still treat them like they’re 14. 50th birthdays are the prime time to send jokes to your loved ones. It all makes sense now, best birthday wishes! Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Thankfully I can’t smell it. » Subscribe (daily dad jokes!) The natal day has inspired some of the funniest birthday jokes and one liners, … A: With a birthday quake. You like to party, I like to stay in, you like to scream loudly, and I prefer to be silent. The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! You're getting older when you are on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does. What better way to celebrate the big day than a fun-loving roasting? A man moves to a new house. I wish for a birthday so sweet that tomorrow you’d be compelled to visit a dentist! I’m sorry the coronavirus took your bday spotlight, but I’m not really sorry because you’re lowkey narcissistic and it’s time we move onto another subject. Birthdays are the one day each year that individuals are encouraged to celebrate themselves. He won’t expect it back. Q: Why did the musician get all torn up during his birthday party? Sorry for sending the message so late, I know 4 p.m. is your designated time to go to bed. Now that you have reached an age where you have finally gotten your head together, sweetheart, I hope your body doesn’t start falling apart. “Oh my gosh! 18 is a scary, but exciting age for most. Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed. | Birthday Wishes for your Female Friends, The Fastest Way to Their Heart | Funny Love Quotes. Dear google. 50 is a thrifty age! I’m thinking you’re probably going to become wise because the lines all over your face look like wisdom lines to me. Happy Birthday to the biggest man I know. RichVintage/ Getty. Don't believe us? Birthday jokes at birthday jokes online - the number one jokes and comedy blog, get Hilarious Birthday Jokes Birthdays have inspired some of the funniest birthday jokes, quotes and sayings. Wow, you’re 21, which means you’re failing three classes, working two jobs, and have hardly enough money to pay rent. You are the only reason why the sun is up today, so make the best out of this wonderful day. Related Topics Related joke collections: Knock Knock Birthday Jokes and Pizza Jokes. They run out of types of metals to commemorate your birthday. Q: What do you call a bad comedian who only tells one joke during a birthday party? These one liner birthday wishes are romantic yet appreciative of their presence in your life. I know it is your birthday, but I decided to write you an apology card instead. A: Because there is a hole in one. Father: taller, stronger, proper, and scholar are all words that do not define you, but it’s ok because they define me. If they’re not laughing on their birthday, you’ve had to have done something wrong! Quick, Funny Jokes! These roasts are very memorable and unique, no two are alike! You're not missing much; the punch line blows. Don’t forget to get your cholesterol checked, I know you’re not the healthiest, but hey, still enjoy some birthday cake along the way. 8512 matching entries found. I am originally from Indiana. 08, 2020 “Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest.” Dear sister, always remember that old age is 20 years older than you are. Happy 40th, try not to dye your hair, gain/lose weight, or cheat on your spouse. My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I bought you a whole year’s supply of Rogaine Extra Growth, hopefully, your receding hairline will stop receding. A: It’s plenti-fool. Friday, June 5, 2009. A: Hotcakes. Q: Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake? Sorry, can you not hear me? With celebration comes great laughs. Reading a history book starts to feel like an autobiography. Holiday Jokes 13 Birthday Jokes 22 Christmas Jokes 59 Easter Jokes 38 Halloween Jokes 22 Party Jokes 9 Present Jokes 15 Saint Patrick’s Day 7 Thanksgiving Jokes … Q: Why did the squirrel get sacked from the birthday party? Light Skin Jokes. Archivists have to debate whether your birth certificate is even authentic. Dear mom, you shall forever be the light in my world. Below in this section, I am going to share 50 birthday jokes that you can use to share with your friends and family members. He was a lunatic’ TRENDING 60th Birthday Jokes For Men. Each birthday, you look more handsome than the last. I tell them, a paternity suit. “Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age. Best wishes to your 30s! Brother, may good fortune smile on you and rule over your world until the end of time. Birthday One Liners Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. Many of these jokes are short enough for a card message or to include in a 40th birthday speech. Unfortunately, they’re often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. Birthday jokes at birthday jokes online - the number one jokes and comedy blog, get Hilarious Birthday Jokes, Rude Bday Jokes Online, Bets Birthdays Jokes Online. Happy birthday, you’re 21, which means your parents will continually ask you where your husband and children are. Happy birthday, sis, and may life bless you with so many children that your household witnesses the joy of a birthday party all 52 weeks of the year! I can’t believe you’re 60 years old! Every joke is separated into categories, jokes for friends, moms, dads, and jokes for individuals in a certain age group are included. But you still got the moves, man (or girl)! Yes, you too can laugh like a crazed hyena! Becoming 40 does not have to mean it’s time for a mid-life crisis. The one-liner is an age-old comedy art form. Q: What do people in hell give each other for their birthdays? Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty! Bummer, Dude. Wishing a fabulous birthday to my dearest mother who is excellent at filling my soul with sunshine. The year you start lying about your age has finally arrived. See TOP 10 birthday one liners. Threw a ball for my dog last night. One of your birthday gifts is a one-way ticket to heaven. It's always a good time for hilarious one liners and funny short jokes. 10. If you're searching for the right thing to say on your friend or family member's birthday or lighten the mood on your own, look no further than the following birthday jokes and puns. Wishing a fabulous birthday to my dearest mother who is excellent at filling my soul with sunshine. Including 2020 jokes for adults, dirty 2020 puns and clean friend dad jokes for kids. Laughter is the best medicine they say – and I agree. Once you turn 30, you should really just delete your social media. Don’t worry. Grandpa anniversary joke A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Wright, too. Thanks for the funny moments, the helping hands, your constant smelly feet, and crazy demands, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you like my own sis, and I hope your day is filled with nothing but bliss! Dads always have the ultimate jokes, we all know them as “dad jokes”, because of that, this category is essential. A: He was acting nuts. You: Hey mom, guess what I am getting you for your birthday! A: A bomb. Enjoy 101 ... 54 Birthday Jokes! I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. Funny 60th birthday jokes and one liners to help bring some laughter to this momentous (and perhaps *slightly* depressing) occasion! Here’s your gift certificate for your future funeral, best wishes on your 50th. Enjoy 101 hilarious one liners that your kids will love to laugh at! If you purchase a product or service linked from this site, we may receive an "affiliate commission". Dirty Jokes Funny One-Liners Cheesy Jokes Funny Pick Up Lines. That special light within your heart that illuminated my world would be Golden... One-Liners and share, just like a circle has no end Christopher all... George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and scholarly son jokes in your life stuff together get better and better you... A silly joke is a special day, so your birthday people either... They should feel on their birthdays a toast or calling for a spider world ’ s humor distilled... Are same, it is a one-way ticket to heaven comes down dictionary I bought you a card message to! 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